Thursday, October 2, 2008

The curse of being Sarah

Hi Everyone,

I figure that since no one reads this anymore, now that they can just call me, I can write whatever I want... including the ickiness that has been my week. As I'm writing this, I am stuck at home because my car is at the dealership. It wouldn't start. I thought it was the battery and asked someone to help me jump it, but the guy said it didn't sound like the battery. All sort of helpful advice later, my car still didn't start and I called AAA.

By that time, my car was making the clicking noises that means the battery needs some love. So, when I called, they asked about the clicking, and I said that the clicking didn't start right away, but it was clicking now. However, I don't know the proper terms, so the lady was convinced it was just the battery. OK, whatever. So, I wait around for the AAA guy. I talk to Sandip on the phone, and he comes from Marysville, which takes forever. So, I waited and waited. Sandip got there, and he tried to jump it. It didn't work. Ten minutes later, the AAA guy came sans tow truck because it would be too big for the parking garage. He came, he checked the battery (I did wear it out with the trying to start it thing...), and then said there was nothing he could do.... he text messaged (taking a good five minutes per line...) to AAA, telling them that it was more serious (Which I mentioned to the lady on the phone the first time), and they sent a tow truck. Which took even more time. Then it was tricky to get the truck in there, and he had totally different theories about what was wrong.... Long story short, I had to get towed to the dealership. Whoo.

My car is gone, so I'm not going to school. How would I get there?? However, I am filled with guilt for not going because I could probably convince some of my friends to come get me. BLEH. However, this is not the extent of the curse. Every day something is happening.... I had someone steal some things off of my desk on Tuesday. People have been expecting so much of me lately, and I had to talk it out with everyone and their little brother.

I've been going through some really tough times, emotionally, lately. Part of it is Peru being one of those experiences that probably built my character and all that, but it was HARD. I think it was one of the hardest long term experiences that I've had. India was hard, and I was drained afterwards, but I didn't feel so wretched about myself. I guess I felt like I made a difference there, and it was really positive. Anyways, I felt so overwhelmed when I got back and didn't want to do anything. I talked to a few people about everything, and people really felt like I was being walked over and needed to take a stand for myself. So, I talked with Kendra (one of my advisors) about how I was feeling and how awful everything felt. She really understood and helped me out with things. It felt good to talk about, and she did what she could to lighten my load.

However, since then, I've tried to let people know that I'm a little sensitive right now and have a lot going on. Most of this has blown up in my face. I get 12 messages a day from people, which is nice, but it can be really overwhelming. Especially since I didn't lighten my workload THAT much. I'm still doing 3 different GGO jobs, being a TA, and taking my classes, not to mention editing my data, planning this stupid wedding, fixing up the condo, buying a couch, trying to make dinners in order to save money (think car fixing, re-buying books, and that whole WEDDING thing), and then on top of everything, I'm trying to fix my emotional health while dealing with the day-to-day existence of grad school. I'm stressed out. Argh.

I know that it doesn't sound cursed, but I keep doing embarrassing things like accidentally flashing my undies to couple kids in the class I TA for (OK, when the prof drops papers and doesn't move to pick them up, they're expecting the TA to do it, right?? Only problem, I was wearing a skirt. Sigh. I almost got in a car accident because we live off of the busiest fast road in Columbus, OH and you have to cross the right turn lane to go straight and there are a million cars. It's just all those little things on top of having someone take my $50 book and having my car break down and need hundreds of dollars to be fixed. AAAHHH.

All right, I'm done being "Woe is me." Not really, but I'm done writing about it. Anyways, if any of my friends and family do read this, thank you for the support! I really appreciate it. I can't promise to answer all the phone calls and be cheerful when everyone is looking for it. I really need to work on making myself happier inside or I'm going to crumble. That's the long and short of it.


William said...

Think Chumba-wumba: I get knocked down, but I get up again!! You're NEVER gona keep me down! Etc.

But don't go into the whiskey drink, lager drink, vodka drink, cider drink part....


Ash said...

Oy, I called you like ten times last week...didn't realize you were dealing with all that. I guess just the worrywort in me, wanting to know my friend's ok:)

A last happy thought - solidarity sistah! grad school is like academic boot camp, but we can make it out together, promise!!